[ Exercise 8 ]
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Explaining
the method to inexperienced engineers is difficult owing
to its computational complexity. [
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EDITOR'S NOTE
The original sentence is confusing because
it is unclear who is explaining the method to the inexperienced
engineers. Although the revised sentence still does not
reveal who is explaining the method, the sentence is simplified
by turning the noun (explanation) into a verb and putting
the action towards the front of the sentence.
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This
study simulates the program.[ more
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Turning nouns into verbs greatly simplifies
a sentence. Consider the following examples:
Original
The committee must make a consideration of the proposal.
Revised
The committee must consider the proposal.
Original
The engineer performed calibration of the machine.
Revised
The engineer calibrated the machine.
Original
The researcher conducted an experiment on the new material.
Revised
The researcher experimented with the new material.
Original
The group has to make a discovery of all feasible options.
Revised
The group must discover all feasible options.
Other
examples include
give consideration to consider
reach a conclusion conclude
undertake an investigation of investigate
make a provision for provide
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The
deposition rate slightly increases.[ more
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Although the original sentence is in active
voice, the verb (occurs) does not express what the deposition
rate does as clearly as the revised sentence when the
noun (a slight increase) is turned into a verb.
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Novice
engineers do not need to know how the variables are distributed.
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]
EDITOR'S NOTE
In addition to turning the subject (knowledge)
into a verb, the revised sentence switches from passive
to active voice.
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In
addition to considering the variability of the control
factors, the proposed procedure implements related tasks.
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]
EDITOR'S NOTE
Depending on the sentence's context, implement,
execute, perform and promulgate can be used as alternatives
to carry out.
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Schmee
and Hahn (1990) recommended using iterative least squares
(ILS) as a simple method for analyzing censored data.
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]
EDITOR'S NOTE
To increase word variety in a sentence,
method, means, approach, and strategy can be used instead
of always saying way.
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Simply
calculating the scores normalizes operations. [ more
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Turning two nouns into verbs and switching
from passive to active voice greatly simplifies the sentence's
meaning.
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Varying
the control factors improves the condition.[ more
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We
recommend that the engineer simulate the program. [
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Although the writer should be careful not
to overuse First Person (We, I, My, Our) in a technical
document, using "We" in the revised sentence is acceptable
because an opinion is being expressed. Other common First
Person expressions are "We believe", "We can infer", "We
postulate", and "We hypothesize".
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The
operator reserved the ticket for me. [ more
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The
system assigns the weights to the variables. [ more
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The
next phase examined the unknown factors. [ more
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An
instructor can assess a student's willingness to learn
by examining his or her academic performance. [ more
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Solving
environmental problems heavily depends on how the local
community responds to governmental legislation. [
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EDITOR'S NOTE
Depending on the degree to what solving
implies, alleviating, modifying, resolving, eliminating,
and eradicating can be used instead.
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Conventional
approaches can not promulgate accurate information to
the public. [ more >>>
]
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