The Chinese Online Writing Lab

[ Exercise 12 ]

1. The two factories did not significantly differ in production. [ more >>> ]
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   In addition to creating a strong verb by turning a noun (significant difference) into a verb, the revised sentence switches from passive to active voice so that the sentence is more effective. Consider the following examples of creating stronger verbs within a sentence:

   Original
   The new procedure comes into conflict with conventional practices.
   Revised
   The new procedure conflicts with conventional practices.

   Original
   The following equation makes an assumption that the constructs are valid.
   Revised
   The following equation assumes that the constructs are valid.

   Original
   The section gives a summary of the latest technological developments.
   Revised
   The section summarizes the latest technological developments.

   Original
   The mechanism has the ability to compute more efficiently than other systems.
   Revised
   The mechanism can compute more efficiently than other systems.

   Original
   The committee should make a decision on what to do immediately.
   Revised
   The committee should decide what to do immediately.

   
   
2. The two age groups did not significantly differ in terms of industrial output.[ more >>> ]
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   The verb in the revised sentence is much stronger than in the original one.
   
3. The fluctuating value only slightly affects the temperature.[ more >>> ]
   
   
4. Increasing parameter k decreases the optimal ordering quantity. [ more >>> ]
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   While the original sentence is in active voice, the original verb (cause) does not as clearly express the action of the sentence as the revised one (decreases) does.
   
5. A larger TOPSIS value implies a better product quality. [ more >>> ]
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   Many writers tend to use the structure in the original sentence such as "The higher the A, the lower the B." However, the verb is not very clear. Therefore, the revised expression of "A higher A implies a lower B." is preferred.
   
6. A larger target implies a higher accuracy. [ more >>> ]
   
   
7. The engineer must adjust the parameters to ensure accuracy. [ more >>> ]
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   Turning a noun into a verb and swiching from passive to active voice greatly simplifies this sentence.
   
8. This article compares several industrial strategies to ensure market competitiveness.[ more >>> ]
   EDITOR'S NOTE
   Unit 6 addresses how to omit needless and redundant phrases to simplify a sentence. One form of redundancy is putting two or more words together that express the same meaning. In this instance "in order to" is a redundant phrase that can be simply expressed as "to" or "for".
   
9. The engineer must modify the process to ensure completeness. [ more >>> ]
   
   
10. Networks prevail in every part of society. [ more >>> ]
    
    
11. Network topology refers to how the computers are physically attached to each other. [ more >>> ]
    
    
12. The board of directors must act based on its authority. [ more >>> ]